Little Gold Lady

Posted by JMax3.3 (Brooklyn, United States) on 15 November 2007 in Abstract & Conceptual.

A Nobel Prize winner was booked to speak in the basement of a bar in Park Slope, and my friend thought he might be interesting.
...

He wasn't. Oh, man, what a bore. I lost interest almost immediately. This great mind, this Nobel winner whose research helped define oncogene behavior — this man and his research has helped us better understand cancer! — began with a blabbering bio of "umms" and "likes," and the standing room–only crowd laughed accordingly when his inflection indicated that he had made a joke. Within minutes, I retreated back upstairs to the bar and waited for my friend. (Who's giving out those awards in Oslo these days?) Anyway, I met this old gal at the bar, and this is what was said:

Jason: Hi. Umm.. Can I help you?
Little Gold Lady: Where is the Visine?
Jason: Huh? I don't know.
Little Gold Lady: Damn... How do you like my bun?
Jason: Love it.
Little Gold Lady: Do you like to get high?
Jason: Sometimes.
Little Gold Lady: And you don't have any Visine?
Jason: No.
Little Gold Lady: Okay.
Jason: Okay.
Little Gold Lady: That guy downstairs bored me.
Jason: No kidding.
Little Gold Lady: He didn't have any Visine either.
Jason: He has a Nobel Prize.
Little Gold Lady: Well, so does James Watson.
Jason: Damn.
Little Gold Lady: Damn is right.